Bichhoo

One of my old favorites is Bichhoo, starring Bobby Deol and Rani Mukherjee. Bichhoo was one of my earliest Bollywood picks when all I had to go on was the songs. One day on Namaste America they broadcast the song “Tote Tote Ho Gaya” sung by Shweta Shetty and Hans Raj Hans, who actually performed the item number. It is a very up-beat tune and the video is fun to watch.


I haven’t found the words to the song nor an English translation, so we really don’t know the details. As usual, it’s always fun to listen and see what we can make up phonetically, such as the following from the third verse.


An interesting aspect of this movie is that I really liked Bobby Deol’s performance. I have never been a huge fan, but he plays the role of Jeeva, a professional assassin very well. He is very cool and calm throughout the film except during the song sequences, then it’s back to goofy Bobby.


He starts out as a clerk in a record store and falls in love with a girl who happens to be the police chief’s daughter. The chief is not happy and does bad things such as torturing Jeeva and killing his mother. Jeeva is greatly changed by the events and becomes an assassin specializing in the removal of corrupt officials and businessmen.


Jeeva’s partner handles the bookings and finances of their two man operation.


Kiran (played by Rani) is part of a dysfunctional family that lives in an apartment next door to Jeeva. Her father is a small time criminal with a nasty tempered wife who is Kiran’s stepmother. Fights and arguments are abundant.


Kiran tries to befriend Jeeva when they occasionally pass in the hallway, but he doesn’t pay much attention to her. One day while at a local store, the shopkeeper asks her to deliver a couple containers of milk to Jeeva’s apartment. Reluctantly she does this and walks right into his apartment when he answers the door. She trips over his exercise mat and falls to the floor, spilling the milk. While down, she looks up and isn’t sure what she sees.



Kiran sees Jeeva’s pet scorpion (bichhoo) walking toward her at eye level. She immediately freaks out and begins the most over-acted screaming sequence in cinematic history.


I don’t think it was meant to be, but this is one of the funniest scenes I’ve seen. Jeeva is standing totally still and watching Kiran silently. She is screaming her head off, jumping up and down and stomping her feet just inches away. This continues for a long time which makes it even funnier.


While she is at Jeeva’s place, the local police arrive at her apartment. In reality the police are a corrupt band of thugs who control the local narcotics trade. The leader of the gang is played by Ashish Vidyarthi who gives an outstanding performance in a negative roll. The audience will really hate this guy.


In a bad career move, Kiran’s father double crosses the local drug dealers and corrupt narcotics officers. The “police” arrive and blast away every member of Kiran’s family. This includes her innocent and beloved brother, whose murder she witnesses through the keyhole of Jeeva’s apartment.

Now that her family has been wiped out, she has nothing left and is totally dependant on Jeeva’s tolereance; it seems like a good time to break into song and dance. “Jeevan Mein Jaane Jaana” is a very catchy and entertaining number. My Hindi is not very good, but I’m guessing the title translates into something like “Oh my God. How short can Rani’s skirt possibly get?”





While evading the villains, our stars dance their way across town to the Esselworld amusement park in Mumbai in a little tune called Pyaar Tu. This song answers the previously posed question.


The police arrive at the park and begin searching for Kiran and Jeeva.

They are spotted and soon a foot chase begins with many exchanges of gunfire.



While eluding the bad guys, Kiran and Jeeva make a rather poor choice for a get-away vehicle.


Throughout the film Jeeva has been training Kiran in the art of assassination. This is a good picture of Rani, however she should lower her thumb as it is blocking her view of the front sight.


Later in the park, Kiran comes face to face with Villain No. 1.


Unfortunately, he is quicker on the draw and fires the first shot.


Do not fret about our dear Rani being shot. The film makers have once again pulled the old dream sequence. However, this is an action film and soon it’s time for the grand finale. The long action sequence contains fights, gunfire, blood, explosions, special effects and lots of Foley fun.





I won’t divulge how the final action sequence plays out, but it is not a happy ending. In the final scene, Kiran is left alone and walking along the water front (in long pants!) with her new little friend.

Filmi Shorts

The blog updates have been rather slow lately, but I’m still watching Hindi movies on a regular basis. I’m presently on film number four since the last post. Since it takes a few weeks to write a proper “full bubble” review, and there is no way I’m ever going to catch up; here are the most recent films in brief.

Namesake

This is an outstanding film by Mira Nair and is highly recommended. Each time I go back to skim through it, I end up watching several chapters. Most scenes appear to have been filmed in reduced light which gives the film a solemn feel throughout.

The stars of the film are two favorites from opposite sides of the world; Tabu and Kal Penn. Both turned in excellent performances (I loved Tabu’s accent). Irrafan Kahn, who played the father, and the supporting cast were all very good as well.


This family saga is spread over the course of several decades. The parents grew up in India and were brought together through an arranged marriage. She was particularly impressed with his “Made in USA” shoes.


They move to the cold northeastern United States, where the father has been working on his Ph. D. The children are born there and grow up completely Americanized. Fortunately the family strikes a balance between old traditions and modern suburban life. There are some tragic moments and many interpersonal relationships which places this film squarely in the “chick flick” category, but its well worth watching.


Ta Ra Rum Pum

Other than the fact the film is in Hindi and stars Saif Ali Kahn and Rani Mukherji, it is pretty much just another American car racing movie and follows a basic formula.

Pit crew member becomes driver.
Driver wins many races and becomes rich and famous.
Driver has bad accident and is out of commission.
Driver loses confidence and falls from grace.
Driver makes comeback.
Driver is rich and famous once again and everyone is happy.

The film did contain the Hindi movie tradition of a song and dance number, minus the best features.


And, of course, there is the popular giant family portrait on the wall.


This family film was enjoyable and is worth a look.


Mister Ya Miss

The story is about Sanjay, a young ad executive who is stringing along many girlfriends. One day the women find out about each other and his numerous affairs. They confront him and eventually kill him with a blow to the head. He goes to meet the Gods who decide to send him back to earth as a woman to teach him a lesson for his previous behavior.

The next morning he wakes up and heads to the bathroom to take care of personal business. Sanjay is somewhat surprised to learn he is now Sanjana.


This film stars Antara Mali who also wrote the screenplay and partially directed. She seemed to overact the role with a constant swagger and sneer that the original Sanjay never really had.

From this point the movie is essentially a collection of sight gags as he/she staggers in high heels, beats the hell out of guys in a bar fight, and learns how to behave “ladylike”.


In the course of events he/she convinces his/her best friend and the woman that killed him/her of who he/she really is. To avoid further confusion I’ll refer to him/her in feminine gender.

After one drunken night out she ends up pregnant via her best friend. (This does have a certain icky feel about it.) The former girlfriend also frames her for the original murder and she ends up in prison. The movie becomes more interesting as the trial gets underway and she is eventually exonerated.

At this point the Gods have decided he’s learned his lesson and restore everything back to the way it was. I found this ending to be very annoying. It’s just like the old “it was all a dream” technique. You watch a movie, commit to it for a couple hours, and then it’s all for naught.

The film was a cute idea, but…


Epilogue

Film number four is an old favorite that seems very promising for a full review. I’m heading down south on business for a week, but will start on it upon my return. I do see by the site meter that traffic is way up, so presumably new readers are enjoying the old posts. Even folks from Iran and Somalia are stopping by. I hope they’re laughing.

Chak De! India

The postman arrived yesterday with a box of DVDs from Nehaflix. In the box were some recent block busters, a couple of highly recommended films and a few five buck specials that were at least well known in their day.

Chak De! India was Film No. 1 in the stack and our choice for the evening’s entertainment. Since it would be a long evening, a hearty dinner was called for. I made our standard basmati rice with cardamoms and chili peppers, while Annette ran down to the local Indian restaurant (Mayuri’s) and picked up a quart of tikka masala sauce. We have plenty of Indian cookbooks, but we still haven’t found a recipe that will compare. We tossed in the leftover lamb from New Year’s, sautéed a few veggies and voila!

Anyway, on with the show…

The making of a sports team has been a long time movie theme. Chak De! India is in the same genre as “Bend It Like Beckham” and “A League of Their Own”, but presents a new variation with women’s field hockey.

The film was very entertaining and held our interest for the duration. However, due to the sensitivities of the subject matter, it doesn’t lend very well to parody and so this review will be a little more main stream.


Kabir Khan (Shah Rukh Khan) is the former captain of India’s national field hockey team. Seven years earlier he had missed a last chance goal during a match with Pakistan, costing India the championship and making him a complete outcast. Now he has been hired to coach India’s national women’s hockey team, giving him one final chance at a title and redemption. Shah Rukh toned down his performance as the coach and didn’t overshadow the rest of the cast. The youthfulness and charisma of the team was allowed to carry the bulk of the movie.


The players are from different states all over India. They are a rather unruly group which would try the patience of any coach. The cast was large enough for a full hockey team, but the following are the one’s that stood out. Each woman has her own life’s problems to deal with, in addition to playing hockey.

Komal (Chitrashi Rawat) is the tomboy of the group whose father fears she will never marry. She does look like a boy during most of the film.

Balbir (Tanya Abroi) is a tough girl who could probably take anyone in a fight.

Vidya (Vidya Malavade) is a newlywed goalie whose in-laws expect her to stay home and take care of the house.

Preeti (Sagarika Ghatge) is the forward whose superstar cricket boyfriend wants her to quit the team and live in his shadow.

Bindia (Shilpa Shukla) is a haughty seasoned player who constantly needles the coach. She was my favorite of the team and could be considered as having the female lead in the film.


The basic storyline is somewhat predictable. A group of strong individual personalities are thrown together as a group. The coach has to break them down and then rebuild them into a team. At one point he has had enough and decides to quit as coach. As a gesture of no-hard-feelings, he takes everyone to lunch at McDonalds. Some nasty boys start to tease the girls and a huge fight breaks out. The boys pretty much get the crap beat out of them as the coach sits back and watches the festivities. This has served as a superb “Team Building” event and so he decides to remain as coach.

Eventually it’s off to the world championship in Melbourne. The team loses the first match to Australia by a great margin and is feeling very down and out. They struggle against other teams, eventually get it together, and end up in the final match against their primary rival, Australia.

Before the final match there is a dinner to honor the top two teams. I know I promised to behave myself during this review, but I do like women in sarees.


I thought the following to be the funniest line of the film. Fortunately we have picked up enough Hindi words to have gotten it.


The final match is very close, very intense and naturally comes down to one final shot. I guarantee everyone watching this film at will be cheering at the end (except for you folks down under).

Mere Jeevan Saathi

For all practical purposes, this is a one woman show. But first, we’ll get the supporting cast out of the way. Note, there may be a few spoilers.

Vicky (Akshay Kumar) is an aspiring rock star; a role which he is getting a little too old for. While he is generally likeable on screen, his performance is just a rehash of the hapless male from Aitraaz and Bewafaa.


Pet Peeve Number One: As a guitar player, I am always annoyed when actors in a guitar playing role have no clue of how to actually play it. Akshay in this film is one of the worst.

PLUG IT IN! It’s an electric guitar for crying out loud.
GET A STRAP! You can’t play while clutching the bottom edge.
MOVE YOUR RIGHT HAND! Your thumb is just sitting on the strings.
GET IN SYNC! Move your left had in time with the music.

The film’s title song is average. The girls looked OK in their gold dresses, but the guys, not so much. As a software geek I have no fashion sense, but even I know this is not a good look.


Anjali (Amisha Patel) is Vicky’s long time girlfriend with no ambition to be or do anything else. The role was not well defined, and she generally just stands around without much to do. Even though she is the heroine of the film, I found myself rooting for psycho bad girl.


Morani and Torani (Gulshan Grover and Ashish Vidyarthi) are small time operators who con Vicky into an exclusive contract. After he breaks the deal, they are out to do him in. I am guessing these guys hammed up their roles on purpose, as they couldn’t possibly be that bad of actors. This subplot was more irritating than funny and could have easily been dropped. Fortunately for the audience, they are blown up in the middle of the film.


OK! For all you guys with Karisma Kapoor on your laminated list, this movie is for you. She plays the bad girl and looks mighty good doing it.

Natasha (Karisma Kapoor) has been obsessed with Vicky since their college days when she secretly sent him good lyrics to replace the bad lyrics in his songs. He is totally unaware of her existence. Natasha’s father dies in a car crash and leaves behind his international recording company, Angel Records. As Vicky becomes a success in India, he signs up with Angel Records to go international. He travels to New York City and meets Natasha, the president of the company, for the first time.


After a few recording sessions and concerts, it’s time for Vicky to return to India. Natasha convinces him to stay one more day and celebrate her birthday.






The next day, consumed with guilt, Vicky rushes to the airport to return home to India and Anjali. Natasha has also decided to return to India and by an amazing coincidence has the seat next to him. Naturally, before she can sit down, a little vamping is called for.


Pet Peeve Number Two: When using stock aircraft footage in a film, the editors should ensure that the plane taking off is the same one landing.


Everyone arrives at the airport and now the fun begins.


One of the catchier songs of the film is Mashooqa (Hey Sweetheart, I learned a new Hindi word). The dance involved a lot of touching and crawling all over each other.



Vicky eventually decides he has to set Natasha straight.


Note To Guys: Karisma’s walk up the stairs in the above dress, is alone worth the price of admission.

In a bad move, Vicky and Anjali invite Natasha to sing and dance at their engagement party. Dewanni is the best song and dance number of the film, and features somewhat traditional dress and rhythms. About half way through the number, Natasha sees Vicky and Anjali getting cozy. She smashes a glass bowl on the floor, kicks her shoes off and continues her fast and twirling dance. This makes for a rather bloody mess and puts a damper on the party.


The following day, Vicky goes to Natasha’s place, tears up his contract and says he’s through with her and his international recording deal. Natasha is not amused.




Yeah, that was a cheap shot, but the family resemblance really shows.

The movie becomes much more interesting at this point as Karisma begins to go into full “Fatal Attraction” mode. After taking a moment to crimp her hair, Natasha soon pays a visit to Anjali’s place.


While there’s nothing like a good cat fight with lots of long silky hair flying about, tossing in a knife is just pure entertainment.


Eventually Natasha runs Anjali through with the knife and she falls to the floor. The movie is getting very tense and thrilling at this moment. But then the film makers pull a fast one on the audience. Sorry, that was just a dream sequence. It never really happened. Kya?!


Throughout the film, Karisma has many intense “stare at the camera” moments, such as the following. I must be totally pagal, because now I’m totally mesmerized and rooting for psycho bad girl.


With Anjali’s encouragement, Vicky goes to check on Natasha. He’s apparently not very observant, as he talks to her for several minutes before he notices that she’s had a problem with her pen knife. The affects crew did a pretty good job complete with pulsing arteries.


There is a final (for real) confrontation between Natasha and Anjali. Karisma gives a great emotional performance with plenty of screaming and crying. Amisha simply recites her lines in a high pitched monotone.


Afterward Natasha returns to her place alone. Karisma goes into over acting overdrive and provides a totally insane breakdown scene. Bravo!


I decided to omit the final scene so as not to spoil the ending for those who haven’t seen the film and may want to after reading this fine review. The film generally didn’t receive the best reviews from the press. From a detached perspective, I can see some of the reviewers’ points. However, if you want to see Karisma looking her best and you enjoy her “over the top” style, then this movie is for you. Thumbs Up!

Main Hoon Na

Farah Khan stated that when she got her chance to make her first feature film, it would have to be a “full on commercial masala formula Hindi picture. A film that had everything…” She has certainly accomplished that goal with Main Hoon Na. I recently watched this 2004 film a second time and rate it a definite entertainer.

The film starts out as a serious action thriller. General Bakshi, the head of the Indian army, has a plan called Project Milap. As a peace initiative, the plan is to unilaterally release several Pakistani prisoners and assume that Pakistan will follow suit.


Not everyone is in favor of the plan, especially disgraced army officer Raghavan (Sunil Shetty) and his terrorist supporters. As the announcement of the project is being broadcast on television, Raghavan and company attack the studios.


Shah Rukh Khan plays Major Ram Prasad Sharma, a highly disciplined army man, who arrives at the studio to save the day. This results in a well correographed, action packed, shoot ‘em up sequence.


Unfortunately, his father General Shekar Sharma is killed during the attack. Before he dies, it is revealed that Major Ram has a half-brother as the result of an affair. The father’s final wish is that he find his estranged brother and reunite the family.

Due to threats by Raghavan, Major Ram is assigned to protect the daughter of General Bakshi, which takes him undercover to St. Paul's College in Darjeeling. In an absolutely amazing coincidence, except in a Bollywood movie, Major Ram’s younger brother Lucky Sharma also studies at the same college.


Major Ram boards the train to Darjeeling and thus starts one of my favorite aspects of a Hindi movie; the wandering product placement items.


Major Ram meets his younger brother Lucky (Zayed Khan), but does not reveal information about the family connection. In yet another amazing coincidence, Lucky's girlfriend Sanjana (Amrita Rao) is the general's daughter. Lucky is allegedly the big man on campus and tries to give Major Ram a hard time during their first meeting.


After enrolling in the school, Major Ram attends his first class. He is immediately smittened with Chandni (Sushmita Sen) the instructor. I remember my college chemistry teacher as being an old gray-bearded gentleman who smoked a pipe. This is a great improvement in college curriculum.


Major Ram begins to daydream, leading into a rather long and sensual song and dance number entitled Tumhe Jo Maine.



As seen in an earlier screen capture, Sanjana usually wears jeans and a simple shirt or sweater with a hat. One day she overhears Lucky putting her down and calling her a "Plain Jane". This provides the standard Hindi movie feature of "plain girl becomes beautiful to impress jerk." Sanjana confides in Major Ram who takes her over to Chandni's house and asks her to work her magic.

Chandni's primary beauty secret is to always stand under the air vents in the studio.

Now that Sanjana is beautiful, a catchy song and dance number is called for. Qawali fills the bill.

A running joke throughout the film is a professor who generates an enormous amount of spittle. This provides many sight gags of students holding umbrellas, using face shields, wearing goggles with wipers, etc.

Much of the spittle scenes and most of the true action scenes are filmed in the slow floating style of the movie "The Matrix". Main Hoon Na freely admits to the connection as seen in the following. This is the actual DVD subtitle.


A school dance party is coming up and Major Ram, being a stiff military man, feels a bit ill at ease on the dance floor and so practices with the encouragement of his fellow students.


The dance party naturally provides an opportunity for a very catchy song and dance number called Gori Gori. Due to a lack of serving bowls coupled with blatent product placement, many of the guests are shown passing around bags of Lay's Potato Chips.


The dance is a success and the happy couple prepares to leave.


Just when everything is going well, the story takes a turn for the worse.


An action packed sequence follows featuring chases and plenty of gunfire. In one scene a villian is holding onto Chandni with a gun pointed at her. Major Ram is standing a few feet away. His pistol has a laser sight which he slowly runs down Chandni's body. A little bit above her knees, he fires a shot through her sari. She naturally screams and flails about. This breaks the hold of the villian, who Major Ram promptly shoots in the head.

I'll avoid spoiling the final scenes for those who have not seen this film. These regard the family reconciliation and the final showdown between Major Ram and Raghavan.

But as seen below, things turn out well and everyone is happy (except for Raghavan of course).


The film ends with the cast and crew singing and dancing in a carnival atmosphere. As each cast member passes by the camera, their name is incorporated into the scene. It could be a banner, a handheld sign, front of a T-shirt, back of a cheerleader, etc.


Farah herself shows up three times for Story, Screenplay, and Director.


In what I consider a very cool gesture, the entire crew gets to appear in the final scenes holding a prop with their name on it. Most of the crew looks like the nerds from the school audio-visual department.

But not all...

Dulhan Hum Le Javenge - Part II

Hey! Hello! It's hard to believe an entire month has passed since my last Bollywood post. My readers have noticed the lack of updates as well (I get emails). The sitemeter indicates a number of lurkers passing through, so at least the old posts are providing new laughs. The range of countries is amazing. I would love to hear how someone in Peru got into Bollywood (hint).

As I mentioned in the comments of the previous post, there were a few pictures from DHLJ that screamed for a sarcastic caption, but unfortunately I couldn't come up with any real zingers. So in a moment of laziness, I have decided to let my readers write the blog for me. Please have a go at few captions. Here are the three pictures.

Picture 1: Johnny should be saying something leacherous. Salman has a pissed-off Italian look. Ay, Pizano!


Picture 2: Perhaps holier than thou Salman is walking on the water here? Or perhaps everyone is blown away by a severe Salman gas attack. Farts are funny ya know.


Picture 3: Salman's and Karisma's positions look rather goofy. The Bebo Dance Academy perhaps?


Good Luck! (Sorry, no prizes.)


Blog Update: The contest is now officially over as no one has participated. This is actually good. I now know I have my own little niche established. By the way, there was a secret prize for the winner. Guess I'll just keep the Rs 1 crore for myself.

Dulhan Hum Le Jayenge

Hey! Hello! I always save first run movies to watch with Meri Biwi. Life has been very busy the last couple of months for both of us and regrettably we’re falling behind on our Bollywood movies. We have several DVDs waiting to be watched plus an increasing list of ones to order. In the meantime, I still catch an old favorite now and then while working out. This is one of them.

Hey! Hello! Sapna (Karisma Kapoor) lost her parents at a very young age and has been raised by her three uncles. Om Puri is a body builder who works out constantly. Paresh Rawal is a priest and is worshipping continuously. Anupam Kher is an ultra modern fashion designer who is, shall we say, "a bit light on his feet". (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)



Hey! Hello! Sapna has grown up and the uncles think it’s time to marry her off. Raja (Salman Khan) is in love with Sapna, so he and his parents go to meet the uncles to arrange a marriage. It does not go well, and Raja is doubtful he can live up to the demands of the three uncles. Sapna decides to assert herself and signs up for a trip to where else, but Switzerland! Anupum Kher catches her running off, but then he gives her money for the tour and sees her off at the airport.


Hey! Hello! As part of a master plan to win Sapna's heart, Raja decides to take the same tour. The delightful and talented Johnny Lever is the tour guide, and so crazy antics are bound to occur. Kashmira Shah plays a model who is continuously posing and being photographed throughout the tour. This provides plently of opportunity for Johnny to perform doubletakes.


Hey! Hello! While the bus is making a fuel stop, our Rani Hindustani, as Raja calls Sapna to annoy her, has a Big Mac attack and wanders off. When Raja goes to find her, the tour bus departs without them.


Hey! Hello! So now they are stranded on a Swiss highway and arguing about how to get out of the situation. Sapna comes up with a brilliantly original solution which involves the removal of clothing. This process natually provides a opportunity to vamp for the camera.


Hey! Hello! Immediately a van stops and Sapna asks for a ride. The driver wants to give her a ride, but not the kind she had in mind. He picks her up and starts to carry her off when Shirtless Salman comes to the rescue. A fight ensues in which the Foley editors have a marvelous time. Afterward everything is fine and the van driver gives them a lift to the next town.


Hey! Hello! Sapna's bag is still on the tour bus and so she uses one of Raja's suits for a costume change. She goes to a local pub, gets in trouble, gets saved by Raja and persuades Raja to beat up the fellows at the bar. He promptly does so and when he's finished, it is time for a song. "Mr. Raja" is the best song of a film which contains many good songs. The music is very upbeat and the choreography is fun and entertaining.


Hey! Hello! When they had arrived at the airport earlier, some bad people placed a bag of hot diamonds into Sapna's bag. The bag was stolen by a fast gora, as Raja described him. Now the bad people want their diamonds back. This subplot provides a series of chases, fights, captures, rescues and a lots of Foley fun.


And finally one last song in Switzerland before returning home. A very catchy little tune called "Le Gayee".


INTERMISSION

Hey! Hello! Unfortunately, the film slows down during the second half. After they return to India, the uncles are still not happy with Raja. With the encouragement of Sapna and Uncle Anupam, Raja struggles through many obstacles during the second half of the film to win over the remaining uncles. David Dhawan must have known the film was slowing down and so he tossed in a lot of lively songs.

Pyar Dilon Ka Mela



Tera Pallu Sarka


Raat Ko Aaoonga


The ending is somewhat predictable, but then it is a fun and light-hearted film.

CAST NOTES

Karisma Kapoor – Hey! Hello! She’s on screen, which is enough to keep me watching. Good performance. Great costuming.

Salman Khan – Excellent comedic performance.

Om Puri – Played a rough and tough dude very well, which is his forte of course.

Paresh Rawal – Very convincing religious type.

Anupam Kher – Over the top, but highly entertaining performance. The best of the uncles.

Johnny Lever – Outstanding performance. Even those who pan Johnny would like this role. (The hold-up scene is hilarious.)

Kashmira Shah – Excellent job of providing eye candy for Johnny to go ga-ga.


Hey! Hello! I love all of the Karisma Kapoor/Salman Khan screwball comedies. There’s always great screen chemistry between the two of them. In addition, this film’s songs are all very good and upbeat. I've enjoyed Dulhan Hum Le Javenge at least five times. This film is a lot of fun and is highly recommended.

Bollywood Birthday

You say it’s your birthday

It’s my birthday too, yeah


They say it’s your birthday
We’re gonna have a good time
I’m glad it’s your birthday
Happy birthday to you.*

Happy birthday to all the Bollywood stars and Bollywood fanatics born on the 25th of June!

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, my birthday was actually a couple of years before Karisma’s.

*John Lennon & Paul McCartney, Copyright 1968 Northern Songs.

Sitaaray

While strolling down a street in London, Annette noticed Devanagari script on the side of a building that we were passing by. This got us to thinking and we soon concluded that some Indian cuisine was in order. I hadn’t heard any Hindi film songs for a couple of weeks and so a Bollywood fix was called for as well.


Later we were paging through a tourist magazine and happened to see an ad for an Indian place that was right up our alley - a Bollywood Theme Restaurant! Hoy! Hoy! Hoy!


The “Sitaaray” restaurant on Drury Lane had plasma screen televisions with Hindi film songs playing continuously throughout the evening. Movie posters and photos of all our favorite stars adorned the walls. To top it all off, we were served an outstanding meal! The menu was preset, meaning there were no choices to make. This was a good thing considering the jet-lag and lack of sleep.

The meal started off with a three tiered tray of appetizers containing papads, chutneys, and spicy namkeens. This was followed by nine different styles of kabobs, including salmon, lamb, chicken, paneer and cauliflower. These were all very fresh and hot off the grill with unlimited servings being offered. Next they brought a selection of curries, naan, and an absolutely outstanding daal. Finally, “Desert anyone?” We were way to full by this time, so we passed.

We met the manager, a nice fellow with a turban and neatly trimmed beard. He was very happy to give us a tour of the place. Each dining area was decorated with a theme (leading ladies, leading men, villains and vamps, etc).

We had a good chat and agreed that “Biwi No. 1” was a great movie and that Karisma Kapoor is really hot. (Isn’t it great that two men from opposite sides of the planet can meet and quickly come to an agreement?)


All in all, this was a very pleasant surprise of the trip.

For further UK vacation stories, please stop by the outstanding I Don't Care About Apathy blog.

The Songs

Typically I'll watch a Bollywood movie once or twice from beginning to end. However, I do go back and watch the songs many times over. After all, the songs are often the best part and are the essence of a Bollywood movie. I've picked up several song collections; some good and some not so much. These are my three favorite song collections that I often toss in the DVD player.

BOLLYWOOD QUEENS VOLUME I


This was one of the first song collections that I bought and is still a big favorite.

Ruk Ruk Ruk - This song features the normally reserved Tabu in one of the goofiest song and dance numbers I've seen. Very catchy tune, odd lyrics, cute polka-dot dress and lots of fun to watch.

Kaale Kaale Baal - Raveena Tandon at her mini-skirted best. Again, a very upbeat tune with goofy visuals. I wonder if she really can play the fiddle?

Choli Ke Peeche - Madhuri Dixit looking her best in probably one of the best song and dance numbers in Hindi cinema.


HITS OF RANI AND PREITY


Huge collection of 50 songs. Most all are good so it's hard to really pick out the best.

Hadh Kardi Aapne - Title song of the first Bollywood movie we ever watched which oddly enough, didn't discourage us. It's a very catchy melody and is hard to get out of my head once I hear it.

Kudi Kunwari - This was the song that inspired me to buy my first Bollywood movie. Phonetically to my English thinking brain, "Peeche Peeche Peeche Pheeche" sounded like "Bitchy Bitchy Bitchy Bitchy". Years later, we still find this to be amusing.

Solder - Another melody that stays in our heads whenever we hear it. Preity looks great in a long blue dress and a short red dress. Unfortunately, in much of the song she's wearing a silly looking watch cap.

Chalo Ishq Ladaye - OK song with Rani and Govinda dancing around various spots in California. It's fun to see numerous places we've been. Dancing in front of NBC studios in Burbank did seem a bit goofy (but then, we like goofy).


KARISHMA KAPOOR DHAMAKA


Even though they spelled my girl's name wrong on the cover, this DVD contains a pretty good collection. As best as I can tell, "Dhamaka" means explosion.

Yeh Raat Aur - This cute little song is from Andaz Apna Apna, a huge movie in the screwball comedy catagory.

Jaanam Meri Jaanam - A rather seductive little number. I didn't know a green sack could look so good.

Kehta Hai Yeh Mausam - Catchy tune with a busload of girls singing and dancing all over the place. When repeating songs, I make it a point watch the backup dancers. They work hard and would probably appreciate being noticed. The girl in the orange dress is noteworthy.

Ya Mustafa - I love this one. I can watch it over and over and not tire of it. A very upbeat song, extravagant dance number, lots of extras, and even has fire twirlers!

Biwi No. 1

Biwi No.1 seems to be the movie everyone loves to hate. Call me pagal ("Alan, you are pagal!"), but this is one movie I actually view over and over again. I have watched it at least six times start to finish, plus many other times just skimming through the songs.


Synopsis: Prem is a rich man with a beautiful wife named Pooja, two adorable kids, a nice house and a doggie. Rupali is a gold digger who meets Prem while hiring on as a model for his advertising agency. Soon they start an affair. He buys her a house and car, and before you know it, they’re on the obligatory trip to Switzerland.

By an amazing coincidence, Prem’s brother Lakhan and his wife Lovely are taking the same flight in order to perform a song and dance number in the Swiss Alps. After the trip, they are with Pooja watching home movies of the trip shot by their son. Pooja sees incriminating evidence in the movie and becomes very upset. Lakhan covers for his brother and smacks his kid a couple times for good measure.

Pooja later finds out the real truth and kicks Prem out of the house. Prem goes to live with Rupali. For some reason Pooja wants Prem back, and with the help of Lakhan, generates a series of events to make Prem’s life miserable. During this part of the film, it was apparent that the film’s creative staff had seen the movie “She Devil” with Rosanne Barr. Fortunately, they had the better sense to cast a cute girl in the title role.

In the end Prem goes back to Pooja, Rupali goes back to Saif Ali Khan, and Lakhan and Lovely go on a madcap car chase to end the movie.

The entire cast performed their roles very well.

Karisma Kapoor (Pooja): Just being on the screen was enough to keep me watching. She provided a very colorful fashion show throughout the film as she often changed from one sari to another. Each sari ensemble was complete with gold jewelry, sparkling bangles, flowers in the hair, etc. I thought this was great, as I like traditional dress in a Hindi movie. However, I'm guessing Desi housewives aren't that dolled up everyday. Looks like a lot of work to get ready.


Salman Khan (Prem): Not what I would call the "hero" of the film, but more like the "scoundrel". He played the part well (obviously a natural) and was especially fun to watch in the scenes when he was in trouble (which was always).


Anil Kapoor (Lakhan): Essentially the comic of the film. Upbeat and friendly, but generally an annoyance to Prem.


Tabu (Lovely): Didn't have a huge role in the film, but the interaction with Anil was very good. They work well as an on screen couple.


Sushmita Sen (Rupali): Good performance playing the other woman. She was especially good when being annoyed by Prem's kids, mother, and dog.

The soundtrack had enough good songs to warrant buying the CD.

Biwi No. 1 (title song) - Upbeat tune and choreography, complete with a psychotic looking clown and a mouse. Not sure what they were all about.

Chunnari Chunnari – Another upbeat melody. Through movie magic, Salman and Sushmita began dancing in India, quickly danced around San Francisco for a couple minutes and then returned to India.

Jungle Hai (my favorite) - Very catchy tune in which the female playback singer had a real cute "squeek" in her voice. The choreography included several costume changes and Karisma looked great in all of them.


And finally, the movie had a typical "traditional girl transforms into hot babe" sequence with numerous costume changes and extensive posing. Not pivotal to the movie, but as seen in the following still, provided excellent entertainment value.


To pass a couple hours and have some laughs, Biwi No. 1 is highly recommended.

Bluffmaster

Last night’s movie selection was Bluffmaster. The film held my attention for the duration of its short two hour and 17 minute length. Annette only fell asleep once, which is a testament to the high entertainment value of the film. (Reading often puts her to sleep.)

As I’ve stated previously, I try not to learn too much about the plot of a film before I see it, just the basic premise. The film appeared to be a series of people trying to con each other. At first it’s a bit hard to tell who is coning who. Early in the story I suspected that Roy (Abhishek) was the target of an elaborate scam involving everyone in the film. I won’t give away the ending, but I am quite perceptive.

Abhishek Bachchan (Roy) – Little B was very good as the film's lead.


Priyanka Chopra (Simmi) – Continuing excellence in the eye candy role. Her role was not too demanding and her performance was fine.


Ritish Deshmukh (Dittu) – Performed well in the goofy sidekick role. Good counterpoint to Roy’s smoothness.

Nana Patekar (Chandru) – Very good performance as the “villain” and a real scene stealer.

Boman Irani (Doctor Bhalerao) – Performance was fine for a small role. Used to seeing him as a heavy, so the light-hearted aspect was interesting.


Subtitle Goof – There is a scene where Roy is telling Dittu that married couples often dream about movie stars. He mentions “Shah Rukh Khan” for the ladies and “Bipasha Basu” for the guys. However, the subtitles showed “Brad Pitt” and “Angelena Jolie” as he said the line. I guess the folks doing the subtitles wanted to pick someone that Western audiences would identify with. This was rather dumb. If someone from a Western audience is watching a Hindi film such as this, they probably know who Shah Rukh and Bipasha are.

The music of the film was good as were the song and dance numbers. “Right Here Right Now” was the best and it has had plenty of airplay over the past couple years. The song is particularly interesting since Abhishek is actually singing. It would have been even more interesting if Priyanka had done the female vocals. She is a trained singer (she sang live at Temptation 2004), so she could have done it.


All in all, it was an enjoyable film and good way to pass a couple of hours.

DON

Well, it took us three sessions as we kept falling asleep, but we finally got through the movie Don. Despite the slow start, it was entertaining once we got into it.

The basic premise is Don's a bad guy and Vijay is recruited to impersonate Don. As the film progresses, it’s becomes almost impossible to figure who is Don, who is Vijay, who’s really alive, and who’s really dead. Don contains lots of twists and turns, which are explained near the end of the film to tie everything together. I don’t want to spoil the movie for anyone, so I’ll skip any further plot details.

Shah Rukh Khan – We love SRK of course, but nowadays he’s more suited to romance and comedy than to action. His role and performance seemed to be a cross between Darr and Duplicate. During the first hour his performance was on par with KANK. For a while I was thinking he should stick with game show hosting, but he finally found his groove after the initial awkward start, and did OK.

Kareena Kapoor – Usually an easy target, but I will give credit were credit is due. She filled out the gold dress quite nicely. However, her dance was something else; rather jerky and a little awkward. Noting the opening credits said “special appearance”, it was obvious she would be bumped off early in the film. Probably just as well.


Priyanka Chopra – Played the eye candy role very well as always. She must rehearse a lot.


Boman Irani – Excellent performance playing the heavy in this film.

Arjun Rampal – OK performance in a supporting role. No particular comments one way or the other.

Om Puri – Excellent job playing Om Puri.

Isha Koppikar – Can’t remember what she did in the film. I think she may have driven the ambulance at the end.

The “Huh?” Moment – Movies often stretch reality a bit for entertainment value, and so usually we just go with the flow. However, the fight over the parachute while falling to the ground from the plane was just a bit far-fetched.

The songs did not stand out except for the catchy number, “Khaike Paan Banaras Wala”. I’ve not seen the original Don, but I have seen clips of the Big B doing the song. Both song versions and dances are enjoyable to watch.


To end this review I give a big thumbs down (and a flip of the finger) to the folks at UTV who produced the DVD. They packed a bunch of commercials onto the disk, which is annoying enough, but then the DVD disables the fast forward, main menu, and chapter skip controls of the player to force the viewer to watch. Even when “play movie” of the main menu was finally selected, a commercial was inserted which couldn’t be bypassed.

Swades - I Have Found It!

Those who have read my blog previously know I'm totally pagal when it comes to Bollywood Posters. I have been looking for the above Swades poster for a couple of years now. There are plenty of English versions to be found, but the Devanagari version has been a rare bird. I wasn’t sure if they even existed until this one turned up in Karachi, Pakistan. It's now nicely framed on my wall.

The reason we like this particular Swades poster is that seems very close to home. The sky, the water, and the hills look just like our favorite fishing spot; the Snake River in Eastern Washington. I wonder if Shah Rukh would like crappies.

Silsila Hai Pyar Ka

I always save first run movies to watch with my wife Annette. Occasionally I’ll watch an old movie by myself when I’m working out downstairs on the stationary bike or treadmill. Typically a Hindi movie will last for three or four exercise sessions. This week’s selection was Silsila Hai Pyar Ka from around 1999. This film followed a Bollywood standard formula as follows:

Plain girl loves jerk.
Jerk hates girl.
Jerk treats girl like crap.
Girl becomes beautiful.
Jerk now loves girl.
Girl has traditional values and won’t put out.
Jerk hates girl once again.
Girl and jerk have run in with bad guys.
Drunken Johnny Lever saves girl and jerk.
Girl and jerk get married.
Hurray. Happy ending, but who cares.

Karisma Kapoor: For the first half of the movie, the filmmakers had her “geeked” up pretty well with conservative outfits, braids and glasses. She played this part of the role quite well. She kept pushing her glasses up off her nose which added a convincing subtle touch. The jerk in the film kept calling her a “lizard” in way which was not funny and came across as plain mean. I thought she looked pretty cute, as can be seen in the following picture.


In the second half of the film she has been transformed and is now beautiful to all that see her. She wears what seems like a hundred different outfits. If you’ve ever done a Google image search, this movie provided the majority of the stills. As much as I like Karisma, she was way over-acting in this half. However, when viewed as a stereotypical Bollywood melodrama, it was an entertaining performance.


Chandrachur Singh: I don’t know where they got this guy, but they should put him back where they found him. He was very stiff and ill at ease throughout the entire film. I’m guessing Salman Khan wasn’t available and so they grabbed whoever they could find. While watching the film I could definitely see Salman in the role. He and Karisma have always had very good chemistry on film. They bicker and fight in their films, but it always comes across as entertaining and not mean spirited.

The sound track for Silsila Hai Pyar Ka, which I had actually bought years ago prior to seeing the film, is pretty good. Several catchy songs.

Nitpicking Flaws: During a chase scene, they are in what they call a Jeep. It is actually a Land Rover. When the Land Rover is shown from behind, there is a “Land Rover” decal across the back window. When showing the characters from the front of the vehicle, the decal had disappeared. Interestingly, the decal came and went several times.

Near the end, the lead bad guy is standing in front of a helicopter. Our “hero” empties an assault rifle into the bad guy, who gyrates around for a while and then falls over. Not one bullet passes through and hits the helicopter. Must be one tough dude.

Summary: Mediocre film with a decent sound track. Karisma fans will find it watchable.

Bollywoodless In Seattle

Bad News! Our local television station that aired Bollywood shows on Saturday mornings and on Sunday afternoons has cancelled all of the shows. The powers that be have decided that another infomercial / home shopping channel would better serve the community. Our local cable system proudly proclaims 70 channels of basic programming. Unfortunately, at any given time twenty of them are showing informercials and shopping shows. We are now fortunate to have yet another source to buy crap.

Asian Variety Show can be seen via the internet, so I can still keep up with that one. Namaste America says it is looking for another Seattle outlet. Hopefully they will be successful. The Asian network AZN, at one time aired some of these shows, so maybe they'll pick them up again. Hope something happens soon, I need my Bollywood fix.

Fanaa

This week’s movie choice was Fanaa (Destroyed In Love).

A blind girl (Zooni) from Kashmir travels to the big city with her performance group to play at a presidential palace. While there, she falls in love with the group’s tour guide (Rehan). He eventually gives her a personal tour of the city and they really get to know each other. She has an operation which restores her eyesight. Later Rehan goes to the palace where there is a huge explosion and people are rushed to the hospital.

Other than checking reviews and trailers, I try not to learn too much about a film’s storyline before seeing it. At this point I assumed the film was going to be a basic chick flick. The cliché would be that he was now blind and she would be his eyes in life. Well, the film didn’t take that route. As it turns out, Rehan was the terrorist who set off the explosion at the palace. Zooni and family assume he is now dead.

Seven years later, Rehan, who has stolen the trigger for a nuclear device, is being chased and shot at by the Indian army through the snowy countryside of Kashmir. He arrives wounded and bleeding at a lone farmhouse out in the woods and knocks on the door. (Gee, I wonder who’s going to answer.) Of course Zooni comes to the door with their now seven year old son.

Due to her previous blindness, she doesn’t recognize him. He stays for a while as she nurses him back to health, and eventually she figures out who he is. The film is essentially a tragedy. In a typical love story we would want the couple to get back together, but not in this case. It’s hard to root for a guy who wants to nuke a major Indian city. In the end he gets what he deserves at Zooni’s hands.

Aamir Khan: A very good performance as usual, but not a sympathetic character.

Kajol: Nice to see her back on the silver screen after four years. She hasn’t lost her touch after this amount of time. She has the most expressive face of any actress. You can almost turn off the subtitles and still understand what she was conveying.

Kirron Kher: Good performance playing the Mom. This was to be expected as she seems to play the mom in everything. Interestingly, her real life husband, Anupam Kher, seems to play the dad in everything.

Rishi Kapoor: Played a likeable and sentimental dad. I would like to sit down and have a drink with him some time. Don’t know if it was product placement in this movie, but there was a bottle of Johnny Walker Black in the center of the shelf. I have noticed JWB often appears in Hindi films.

Tabu: Played a rather stiff and all business counter-terrorist official. There was the start of a cliché subplot of conflict between “capable woman in charge” versus “gruff military leader who eventually comes around”, but it was never allowed to develop in the film. Hints of it can be seen in the outtakes on the special features disk.

Name That Tune! A short four bar whistle was heard throughout the film’s music score. We immediately recognized it as the intro to the mystery song Yaara Yaara, which appeared on the Hum Tum CD but not the actual Hum Tum movie. The entire tune was reincarnated in Fanaa as the song Chanda Chamke. It is a catchy melody.

The special features disk of the DVD set contained a segment where Aamir and Kajol interviewed each other about the film. It seemed a bit stiff and contrived, but was still quite interesting to watch. Aamir’s first question to Kajol was how to pronounce her name. She emphatically said it is “KAH-jewel”. Apparently he had it wrong throughout the making of the movie. This mutual interview was done in English. Kajol’s voice is rather low pitched and has a very heavy Indian accent. Personally, I love the sound of a woman’s voice with an Indian accent. Hmm. I wonder if Indian husbands feel the same way. ;)

Krrish Part 2

Hi Everyone.

Not much to blog about today, so I am just getting caught up on my laundry.

I’ve been thinking about the product placements in the movie Krrish. Do you think these placements really improve a company’s sales? It all seems like a silly waste of time to me. Who would possibly fall for this type of subtle advertising?

Krrish

We have fallen behind on our Bollywood movies and are now getting caught up. The other night we watched Krrish. The basic synopsis is that an alien visits Earth and grants special powers to a fellow who genetically passes them on to his son. Dad disappears, Mom dies, and the son grows up to chase a hot babe to Singapore. While there, the son rescues his dad from the bad guys, saves the world, gets the girl, and returns home to the delight of his grandma.

Hriktik Roshan: Did a good job playing both the father and son roles. His dance moves are well above the average male Bollywood star. He always comes across as a decent and likeable fellow in his movies.

Priyanka Chopra: Provided outstanding eye candy throughout the film. Reason enough for you guys to watch the film.

Rekha: Played a wide age range from 20 years younger than reality to 20 years older than reality. Good makeup going both ways and she turned in a professional performance as always.

Overall the movie was enjoyable and entertaining. It was a combination of action hero and sci-fi, so reality is not really a concern. However, why would a rich and evil villain, who can afford helicopters and a private island in Singapore, equip his guards with only machetes? Hello! Get some automatic weapons! I guess that would take away from the ninja style fight scenes.

Typically, product placement consists of a simple Coke or Pepsi machine in the background. This film was not too subtle:

Tide Detergent: The bright orange box was prominently displayed on the shelf. When Rekha was pouring detergent into the washer, I thought sure she was going to directly address the camera and give a testimonial on how clean and bright her saris turn out.

BournVita: This jar had a mind of it’s own as it wandered around the house placing itself in the center of the screen.

Lay’s Potato Chips: There is one scene where Pryianka is laying on a bed wearing a short silky dress. The camera slowly pans up her backside from toes to head. Very sexy! Next frame she’s stuffing potato chips into her mouth with the Lay’s bag displayed front and center. She was also pounding ‘em down while sitting in her car and in a scene at the apartment. She did have that soft round tummy look, so maybe potato chips are a good thing. 


Happy New Years to all. Here’s hoping 2007 is a good one.

Smoodles

Hey! If this guy endorses them, they must be good!


While shopping at our favorite local Indian grocery store (Mayuri’s) a while back, we came upon a bin full of “Smoodles”. These Top Ramen noodles are made in Bangalore and are much spicier (and tastier) than the ones typically found around here.

I cook them for lunch at work on occasion and often get the question, “what ARE you cooking?” The aroma is rather distinct. I gave a pack to a co-worker who basically liked them, but she thought they were a little too spicy. Anyway, smoodles are a good way to warm up on a cold day.

Think that guy really eats this stuff?

Wanted Live

While watching the usual Saturday morning Bollywood shows, a commercial was shown for an upcoming show called “Wanted Live”. A list of cities was displayed at the end which actually included Seattle! I immediately contacted Ticketmaster and purchased two tickets in row ten (we get closer and closer all the time).

The show was at the Mercer Arena near the Space Needle. It’s a cozy little facility that holds a maximum of about 6000 people. The attendance for this particular show was about 4000. Seattle is not a big draw on the Bollywood circuit, especially if the same show is also performing up the road in Vancouver Canada, eh.

This was our first full fledged Bollywood concert. There were two lines to get into the show. To be frisked or not to be frisked, that was the question. Since the “be frisked” line was about 10 people long and the “not to be frisked” line was about 400 people long, we opted for frisking. Being frisked at events is the norm in this area, but I would have preferred the cute female frisker rather than the big burly male frisker.

Shah Rukh Khan was the headliner of the show, accompanied by Sanjay Dutt, Juhi Chawla (Miss India 1984), Sushmita Sen (Miss Universe 1994), Namrata Shirodkar (Miss India 1993), plus the delightful and talented Johnny Lever.

My impressions and recollections of the performers:

Namrata Shirodkar – Her English was very good and she primarily acted as the announcer for the show. I don’t recall too much in the way of song and dance numbers.

Sushmita Sen – Tall and beautiful. (Duh! She was Miss Universe.) She performed her item number from Fiza and talked about her Miss Universe experiences.

Juhi Chawla – A real sweetheart, whom the crowd genuinely loved. She’s got 10 years or so on the other girls, but was still the most attractive one. She said she had been taking lessons and working on her singing. She sang a song, live and not lip-syncing, called Pehla Nasha.

Sanjay Dutt – Muscle man whom the ladies in the audience seemed to appreciate. He performed a scene with pistol in hand from one of his films.

Johnny Lever – Performed a 20 minute stand up comedy act. Most of it was in Hindi so much of it was lost on us. He did a few impressions of Bollywood stars which we picked up on. His act included jokes about Michael Jackson, the movie Titanic, and mother-in-laws; but we didn’t get the gist of most of them. However, it was still fun to see him live and in person, and the rest of the audience had a good laugh. He gets a lot of flak among movie reviewers and bloggers, but we like him.

Shah Rukh Khan – The ultimate entertainer. He has a great rapport with a live audience and knows how to work a crowd. He really seems to appreciate the fact that the audiences are what have made him the star he is today. He made similar comments at the Temptation 2004 concert a few years later. We took it as genuine (but he is pretty good actor):)

I found an on-line review of the show in Atlanta which provides much more detail. It sounds much more extravagant than I remember. The Seattle show was great, but may have been scaled back due to the small venue.

Wanted Live - Atlanta.

Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega - We Need Subtitles

When last we left our heroes on the road to Bollywood, they had just seen the English language film, American Desi...

Prior to the showing of American Desi, the theatre ran previews of coming attractions. The next upcoming film was Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega which starred Preity Zinta (sigh), Rani Mukherjee (double sigh) and Salman Khan (sigh). Oh, just to be clear, the sigh for Salman is from Annette.


We decided the time had come to see a true Hindi movie on the big screen. The following weekend we attended a showing of Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega. We soon found out that subtitles come in very handy. We could follow the basic story line, but many times the audience would be laughing out loud, while we barely had a clue. Fortunately laughter is contagious and overall the movie was quite enjoyable, though we missed the subtleties. The on going subplot of Shakti Kapoor running a juice bar out of a bus stop was hilarious, especially when the cops were involved. No subtitles needed for that part.

Shah Rukh Khan and the little girl from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai made a guest appearance in the film, which was a nice surprise. I pointed at the screen and said to Annette, “Hey look, it’s Shah Rukh!” Got a couple of knowing looks from the other movie patrons. During intermission, some of the aunties in the restroom asked Annette if she understood Hindi. She said basically no, but she could generally follow the plot.

A DVD of the film was released a short time afterward, but unfortunately it did not contain subtitles. Eventually a year or two later I was able to find a copy with English subtitles and now we finally get all the jokes. The guy with the Johnny Lever role was pretty good. Even if Johnny Lever is not in a film, there is always what we refer to as the “Johnny Lever Role” (i.e. goofy, obnoxious, but lovable sidekick).

The overall soundtrack of this movie is outstanding. The song Piya Piya is a big favorite. Who doesn’t like seeing Rani and Preity dancing around in towels and mouse hats!!!


My favorite song is Aate Jaate Jo Milta Hai, which I can fake on the guitar. Preity looks really cute in that song, and Salman is pretty funny with his antics. Relax! OK.

Overall, HDJPK is a very enjoyable and highly recommended film. I have watched it several times.

King Uncle

Second Runner Up, Jackie Shroff Look Alike Contest.

Let’s Go Out To The Movies - American Desi

In a previous episode on the road to Bollywood, I had collected a few posters at the local Hindi movie theatre. While we were there, I noticed a poster for an up coming attraction called American Desi. It appeared that the film was in English. I asked Arif about it, and he said it that indeed it was. (Side note: I actually own the poster now, surprise surprise.)


The premise of the film is about Kris, short for Krishna; an ABCD that goes off to college. He has forsaken Indian traditions and tries to behave like his gora buddy. As luck would have it, he is assigned to a dorm room with three guys of South Asian decent. He is not happy about it. Soon he meets a nice Indian girl, Nina, who still values tradition. Naturally there is conflict between them. Eventually he wises up, likes his new friends, gets the girl, and all is well. End of story.

The movie sounded funny and since subtitles weren’t required, mere biwi and I decided to attend the following Saturday. We arrived a bit early, before the box office opened. I have a habit of arriving too early for events; just can’t get the feel for IST. The theatre served tea and samosas at the snack bar, which seemed rather novel to us, and was a lot better than the usual salty burnt popcorn.

As we were the first ones there, we had our choice of seats. We sat at our typical location for a movie theatre; center seats about two thirds the way back from the screen. The desi crowd began to arrive and took their seats. At the time the movie started, the place was only about a quarter full, say about one hundred patrons. Interestingly, everyone sat next to us. All the rows in our area were completely full and we were surrounded. This turned out to be a great benefit, by providing some insight to scenes in the movie.

Just before Kris goes off to college, the family has a get together. There is a scene where dozens of relatives dressed in their finest traditional clothes are walking up the lawn. It seemed rather ordinary to us, but the surrounding crowd went hysterical. Laughter is contagious of course, and we found it be quite funny as well.

In another scene, a bumbling instructor is having his lunch. He has this tall stack of interlocking metal containers. He soon begins unpacking a huge lunch extravaganza. The crowd deemed this to be very funny as well. The lady next to me said, “Oh, I want to get some of those!”

My favorite line is when Kris agrees to watch three Hindi movies. Nina exclaims, “This is going to be a fun NINE hours!” Look on his face? Priceless!

We had a great time. The crowd really added to the experience.

Did this movie hit close to home?

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

Now that the cold dark days of the monsoon season have arrived in Seattle, we are getting caught up on our Hindi films. Last night mere biwi and I cozied up on the couch and watched Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (a.k.a. KANK).

For the few that haven’t seen KANK, spoilers are contained within this post.


Other than the cast, subject matter, and a few mixed reviews, I didn’t know too much about the film. This was on purpose to avoid any preconceptions.

On a technical note, the DVD is the best I’ve ever seen for a Hindi movie. The picture quality, sharpness and color were top of the line. Sound quality was good as well. Subtitles were easy to read. (The actual dialog switched between Hindi and English throughout the film).

Without going into the entire story line, the film was basically a “chick flick”, with lots of emotion and drama. While the main characters finally did get together at the end, I would not call it a happy ending. With all the heartache and divorce left in the wake, it wasn’t the kind of story where one would cheer for the lead characters. It was like, “OK, they’re together now, fine, end of story.”

The all-star cast of the film was enough to hold our attention and make us want to watch it. The following are random comments listed by cast member.

Amitabh Bachchan – Played a likable old guy who has a way with the ladies. He still has the dance moves and was fun to watch. As soon as I saw him appear, I told my wife, “I bet he dies in this film.” A very easy prediction for a Hindi film.

Abhishek Bachchan – Played his role well. No disparaging remarks. I always find it interesting to watch Big B and Little B work together.

Shah Rukh Khan – I haven’t seen him in a negative role since Darr many years ago, and so it was a little hard to take. His was not a sympathetic character at all. The way he treated and talked to his son was terrible; I kept expecting Child Protective Services (CPS) to show up. We’re huge SRK fans, but his performance just wasn’t up to par in this film.

Preity Zinta – Somewhat lackluster performance. She did well in the song and dance numbers, but as a character, not too interesting. She should have found a better hairdresser. Her hair often appeared flat and matted. Not a good look at all.

Rani Mukherji (sigh) – Played her role well. She looked great throughout the entire film. For you guys who like to watch Rani, just because she’s Rani, this is the film for you. The pink sari at the end is a must see.


Shades of Kal Ho Naa Ho - The film reminded me of some aspects of Kal Ho Naa Ho, other than just SRK and Preity being in New York. “There’s a Party Tonight” could easily have been “It’s The Time To Disco”. Often scenes had a solo piano tinkling in the background.

Award For Worst Acting Ever In Any Film Ever Made – The chunky goree nurse yelling and clearing the way in the hospital because a person with a leg injury was coming in. Don’t know where they found this “actress”. Maybe she won a contest or blackmailed the casting director. I actually cringed just watching her. Ew!

The guest appearances during the song and dance numbers were nice surprises. I spotted Kajol immediately. Mere biwi spotted John Abraham right away.

All in all, KANK was worth watching, though primarily for the cast. It just didn’t have a feel good ending.

All comments (agreeing or disagreeing) are welcome.

Pagal! Pagal! Pagal! - Poster Mania

At the previously mentioned Daler and Karisma show, I purchased the souvenir poster shown below. Thinking a Hindi movie poster was something rare and exotic, I had it professionally mounted and framed in oak. It’s presently on our bedroom wall. Looks pretty good and makes an interesting decoration.


One day we stopped at local Indian grocery store (there are 4 within a 3 mile radius of the house) that we had not been to previously. The store had dozens of movie posters on the wall, which I thought was really cool. This store was bigger than the rest and soon became our regular place for Indian cuisine items. One day I asked the owner, Sadru, where he gets his posters. He said they come with the rental DVDs, and he usually just tosses them after the movie’s popularity dies down. He had a huge stack of old posters, and offered them to me. I appreciated his generosity and collected stacks of posters on numerous occasions.

As the passion for collecting posters began to grow, I had to find more sources. There was an old theatre, The Roxy, a few miles south that showed Hindi films. I contacted Sunil and Arif who ran the place and enquired about their old posters. They generally tossed them also, so I asked if I could have them. They said it would be fine, just come down and pick them up. We later attended a few shows, but that’s a future blog.

Still, I had to find more! That was about the time I discovered eBay, which has become my primary source. I’ve bought some from dealers in the USA, but most have been purchased directly from guys in India. So far every transaction has gone smoothly. They used to be cheap, as in ten for ten dollars. Apparently the collecting craze has increased, and they are much more expensive these days.

Downstairs hallway. Bit tight so hard to get a good camera angle.

The Rec Room (lesser non-devanagari posters).

Entrance to the downstairs hallway.

I presently have around 188 posters at last count. I have gotten more picky and try to stay exclusively with Devanagari script, unless the poster is of particular interest (e.g. Raja Hindustani with Karisma in her little red dress above my desk in the other blog). I have found most of the posters I want, but one remains elusive: The blue Dil To Pagal Hai, in Devanagari, without the words “Tax Free” or “Super Hit”. It looks like the following except it’s in Devanagari script. I have seen one, so I know they exist. I’ll find it someday; it’s my holy grail of Hindi movie posters.

The Kiss

After watching quite a few Hindi movies, one aspect became apparent. The characters never kiss. The kiss is a staple feature in western films, and so the lack of it really stood out. There is implied kissing, but never real kissing.

When the moment of the kiss is about to occur, the camera will often pan away and the music will swell. One standard practice is to shoot the scene showing the back of one character’s head, so it could be assumed that a kiss is occurring. Often a movie will tease the audience. It looks like a kiss is really going to happen, but then the actress demurely turns away in the nick of time. This refreshingly innocent aspect of Hindi films is one thing that makes them so endearing.

One evening we where watching Raja Hindustani. The movie was progressing in the basic masala style with a poor boy - rich girl theme and numerous song and dance numbers.

Then it happened!


Mere biwi exclaimed. “Oh My God, They actually kissed!”



Of course I’m thinking, “Hey. That Aamir Khan guy sure has a good job!”

It's the Daler and Karisma Show!

Meri biwi and I had found a small Indian food and video store a couple miles from the house. Indian food had long been a favorite, and with the recent discovery of Bollywood, our interest in cooking South Asian dishes began to increase dramatically. We walked into the store one Saturday afternoon and I saw a poster on the wall similar to the following.


My heart skipped a beat and I thought, “Hoy! My girl’s coming to town, we gotta see this!” The shopkeeper had tickets available, and so we bought two floor seats in row 14 with a fairly decent view. The show was at the Mercer Arena in Seattle and had a cozy little crowd of about 4000. This was our first show and I noticed it was very easy to find meri biwi in the crowd. After one pass, the security folks didn’t bother checking her ticket to the floor section.

We were not familiar with Daler Mehndi, but soon became fans after the show and now have several CDs. For a big guy wearing lots of heavy colorful clothes, he sure had a lot of energy and could really move. He performed several songs from his latest release, Ek Dana (one grain?). The CD contains a lot of good songs, with my favorite being the title track. He was supported by an excellent troupe of backup singers, dancers, and musicians. The main drummers were absolutely amazing. They kept the heavy Bhangra beat going forever.


Karisma (double sigh) was the only actual Bollywood star at the show. She performed several high-energy song and dance numbers from her movies; Chal Mere Bhai, Biwi No. 1, Dulhan Hum Le Javenge, and Hum Saath Saath Hain. (Movies I actually watch over and over.) Her dancing was very energetic, but when talking to the audience with a microphone, she seemed a bit shy and rather demure. She had one participation number where a guy from the audience was selected to come on stage while she danced with him. She later autographed the man’s robe. I had thought about jumping on my chair and yelling with the rest of the guys, but with mere biwi sitting next to me, I thought it best to stay low.

A singer named Milka was the third main entertainer and is Daler’s little brother. He sang to pre-recorded background tracks, which sounds a bit lame, but he actually put on a pretty good show. His music was more modern pop as opposed to the Punjabi sounds of Daler.

This was our first concert. We were introduced to the phenomenon of the crowd going crazy with the music and breaking into two camps: the dancers and the show watchers. Tempers occasionally flared as dancers blocked the view of the show watchers. Security tried as best as they could to settle the dancers down. Lesson learned: don’t get aisle seats, unless you want pagal dancers bumping you all night.

All in all, a very good show, and we had a great time; could hardly wait for the next one.

Hoy Hoy, Ek Dana…


I see traffic is picking up. Thanks to all of you for visiting. Please say Namaste if you have time.

Second Hindi Movie - Chal Mere Bhai

Note to readers: Do not worry. I’m not going to run through all 200+ movies in my collection. Just hitting a few highlights on my trip down the Bollywood road.


For a second Hindi movie, I put a little more research into it. Another movie had come out about the same time as HKDA that contained a lot of good songs. I watched actual film trailers on line and read many reviews, which were typically in the 7 out of 10 range. The movie I chose was Chal Mere Bhai.

To this day I’m still not clear on the title. The “Mere Bhai” part is easy. I looked up “Chal” in all my trusty Hindi-English dictionaries, but there are too many options. Best I can come up with is “Let’s go, my brother”. Any Desi insights would be welcome.

I still didn’t know any Hindi movie stars by name. After Chal Mere Bhai, I did! This movie introduced me to my all time favorite actress, Karisma Kapoor. While everything about her is nice to look at, it’s the eyes that caught my attention. In my favorite song of the movie, Mehndi Rang Layi, she does these sideways glances with a big smile. I’ve noticed the same look in many other movie song and dance numbers. The whites of her eyes look huge and really draw me in. I guess that’s the charisma of Karisma.


Oh yeah, Sanjay Dutt and Salman Khan were in it too. To this day my wife and daughter refer to Sanjay as “Big Brother” when ever he pops up in other movies.

First Hindi Movie – Hadh Kar Di Aapne

I had been watching song videos on Namaste America with Tinku Jain and on Asian Variety Show (AVS) for a few months. I decided it was time to watch a real Hindi movie and see what it was all about. The problem was how do I choose? I had no knowledge of actors, directors or producers. I didn’t know any Hindi. All I had to go on was songs.

At the time, there was a song that really caught my attention. It was a lively tune called Kudi Kanwari and I had no idea what the title meant. There was one line of the song that seemed to stand out. To my English thinking brain; phonetically it sounded like the girl was singing “bitchy, bitchy, bitchy, bitchy”. This was mildly amusing for silly reasons. After a bit of research, I found out the line was actually “peeche, peeche, peeche, peeche”.


The movie was Hadh Kar Di Aapne with Rani Mukherjee (sigh) and Govinda (still not sure why he’s a star). I bought a VHS tape copy on line which turned out to be of rather poor quality; not too clear, hard to read subtitles, etc. We fell asleep during the movie and finished it up the next day. The movie was average and I really liked the title song. So now the Bollywood seed had been planted, and the movie collection began to grow. More to come…

North To Bollywood

Bollywood shows don’t come through the Seattle area too often, but they always hit Vancouver, Canada, which is only three hours away from our house, depending on traffic at the border.

Our hotel was about half a mile from the coliseum, so a nice pleasant walk and no parking hassles. One of our favorite places in Vancouver is the Punjabi Market. It’s on Main Street and runs for about six blocks. The area is full of video stores, sari shops, restaurants, and samosa stands (best lamb samosas ever!). It was a fun place to spend the afternoon prior to the concert. So we had lunch, the girls tried on salwaar kameez’s, and we bought some CDs and posters. Really got us in the mood for the show.

The show was scheduled to start at 8:00 P.M., but didn’t actually get underway until after 10:00 P.M. (IST, maybe?) The concert has been documented and reviewed all over the internet, so I won’t go into the details. The show was very good and we enjoyed every bit of it. It went for over three hours, just like the movies.

Preity In Pink

Preity Zinta gave us the heart in the above picture. Well, not directly anyway, but that would have been nice. She was tossing them to the crowd and Annette (Meri Biwi No. 1) managed to fight off a pack of crazed girls and catch one. It’s now hanging over the dresser mirror in our bedroom. Shah Rukh was tossing soccer balls and basket balls. A ball was coming in high toward me. I stood on my chair and jumped. Unfortunately, I missed and fell on my butt. Not to classy.

Close To Rani

The show was over, the house lights were on, and the audience was shuffling out of the coliseum. We had moved forward to the edge of the stage and were proceeding to the left. An announcement was made that some Canadian government official wanted to present the cast with a certificate of recognition for promoting international cultural exchange, or something of that nature.

Some of the cast members walked back out. The presentation is made and now they’re just standing around. So, the house lights are on and it is totally bright. I have Rani Mukherjee and Preity Zinta (the two hottest actresses in the world) standing 10 feet in front of me, and I’m too star-struck to remember that I still have five shots left on the camera!


D’oh! I’m still smacking myself on the side of the head for that one.

Temptation 2004

We took the following pictures at the Temptations 2004 concert in Vancouver Canada (eh?). Details of the trip and the show to come in a later blog.

Just "JOSHing" around.


Preity and Rani doing Piya Piya from Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega. I like to watch the background dancers in both the live shows and the films. They put a lot of hard work into the shows, so they would probably appreciate being noticed. The girl on the far left is a cutie.


Also during the Piya Piya number. Another cutie in the middle.


Saif Ali lookin' right at us. (With the Hum Tum characters.) Later in the show, the pyrotechnic device in the foreground blew off unexpectedly. We could really feel the heat blast at seventh row center. Shook him a little bit, but the show went on.


Shah Rukh and Saif Ali. For some reason the girls in the audience screamed their heads off when these guys walked on stage.


Zooming in on Rani.


Zooming in on Preity.



Preity, Rani, and Priyanka. Looks like Rani's been eating well. A soft little tummy is nice anyway, no washboard abs for me.

Under Construction

Namaste Everyone!
I have decided to create a secondary blog devoted to my Bollywood addiction. Presently, I've just created the basic layout and will get it up to speed shortly. I've copied over the Bollywood posts from my main blog as a starting point. There will be much more to come.
Alan

Aap Kaa Surroor

For our yearly Bollywood fix we attended the Aap Kaa Surroor concert last Sunday night at the Everett Events Center. The show featured some of Bollywood’s leading playback singers and dancers.

Bollywood stars seldom sing their songs. The songs are all lip-synced to recordings made by “playback singers” (i.e. those that can actually sing). The show featured Himesh Reshmiya and Alisha Chennai, presently two of the biggest. They performed several songs that we recognized from the movies. We knew the voices and so it was interesting to see the real person singing the songs.

Our seats were near the center of the stage and five rows back. The crowds at these shows are typically 99.999% South Asian and so we get noticed; especially Annette with her blonde hair. (Mine used to be dark, but now it’s closer to platinum blonde.) The folks always ask how we became interested in the whole Bollywood scene. Some give us that tilted head look and ask, “You guys like this stuff?”

Attending these shows does provide a perspective on being a minority in a crowd. Everyone has always been really nice and no problems. We tend to count the goras in the crowd. This show’s ratio was about 8 to 4000, so fairly high. The previous show we attended in Vancouver, Canada (eh?) was 6 to 17000.

The music was good. They had a drummer, a tabla player, two electronic drum players, five keyboardists and one guitar player. I’m generally not real big on techno-bands, but they made it work with a really heavy driving Punjabi rhythm. You could feel the air pressure hitting against your chest. Can’t help but move to it.

The music really gets the crowd worked up. During musical portions of these shows, and in this case the whole show was music, the crowd divides into two camps; those that want to quietly watch the show and those that dance fanatically on their chairs. Inevitably, tempers flair. This show was the craziest one yet. There were at least a half dozen occasions when fights almost broke out, but fortunately didn’t. Even the ladies in their finest saris got into it, yelling and waving their arms. Almost felt like being in a masala movie.

Hoy Hoy Hoy!

Hurray For Bollywood

I confess. I am addicted to Bollywood. It all started out slow and unassuming. I was watching TV a few years back and while flipping through channels, I came across a show called Namaste America. The show was playing song clips from the latest Hindi movies. The music was very catchy, the costumes bright, the dancing very lively, and of course, the girls!

I started to watch the show and others like it regularly every week. Soon I started buying Hindi movies on line, and now have close to two hundred. Then I started collecting Hindi movie posters. First from the local Indian grocers, and then the local Indian theatre. Later I moved on to eBay, and was buying direct from guys in India. Last count was 177 posters, of which about 50 are on the walls downstairs. Finally we started attending traveling Bollywood shows; even leaving the country (eh?) to see them.

There are lakhs and lakhs of websites devoted to Bollywood. A Google search will provide a plethora of data, so I won’t go into great detail here. One of my favorite sites is Bollywhat?, as it’s designed with addicts in mind.

Bollywood refers to the Indian Film Industry primarily located in Mumbai (aka Bombay, hence, Hollywood –H + B = Bollywood). Bollywood produces approximately 800 films a year or about three a day. Worldwide, Bollywood actually sells more tickets per year than Hollywood. Often the films are low budget or are targeted for a regional audience in India. Many of the films that reach overseas have production values on par with Hollywood.

The films cover all genres; comedy, romance, drama, horror, or action thriller. They are long, usually around three hours and are subtitled. The endearing feature of Hindi films is the songs. Typically six to ten times throughout the film, the cast will breakout into a lively song and dance number. This may sound a little silly to some folks. In fact some Hindi films actually make fun of the fact there are songs in Hindi films. Personally, I find them very entertaining and the very essence of the Bollywood experience.

One interesting feature of Hindi films that I find amusing:

The blonde is the bad girl.

More to come…